Letting Go of Toxic People
Sometimes we outgrow people and that’s a normal part of life. It certainly can be hard to let go of memories and friendships that were shared at significant times. It took me awhile to stop tolerating unhealthy friendships. When I did step back and take a look at the bigger picture and all of the red flags that were thrown, I knew I couldn’t keep holding onto these toxic friendships anymore. I had to do what was best for my time, energy, and peace of mind. After letting go of toxic people, my happiness increased significantly and I reached the goals I set for myself since no one was holding me back. Sometimes, the best light comes from a burning bridge. People come into our life as either a blessing or a lesson.
I didn’t have the best judgement in character because I always tried to see the good in people. I found myself around people who were very belittling, competitive, hypocritical, and narcissistic. The friends and family I had were arrogant and unmindful of anyone else’s time. My time was spent on people who lied, spread rumors about me, played the victim, and acted out of insecurity. I could only tolerate so much until eventually I had enough and cut people from my life. To this day, I can’t believe how many second chances and how much time I put into these friendships.
I’m definitely not perfect and I’m still improving myself every day, but the toxic traits of other people were draining my energy and motivation to continue to better myself. I came a long way from the person I used to be and I wasn’t going to let anyone or anything get in the way of that. Letting go of friendships wasn’t the easiest thing to do at first, but eventually I felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders and became more of myself again. Cutting out the people who weren’t impacting my life positively was incredibly freeing.
As your life changes, so will your circle. I stopped talking to the people I didn’t feel were supportive or couldn’t relate to anymore because their consistent negativity dominated every conversation. Some of the friendships lasted for years, but we didn’t share the same interests or were on the same page with anything. The petty arguments, snarky comments, and one-sided conversations took its toll and made me realize I need to make time for the people who lift me up, not keep spending my time on people who are condescending. The older I get, the more careful I am with who I give my time to.
Don’t let the guilt of outgrowing a friendship keep you from being happy. If the negatives outweigh the positives when it comes to particular people, it’s time to move on. Toxic people dwell on their problems and truly believe that if they’re not happy, you shouldn’t be either. I’ve learned that actions prove who someone is and words prove who someone pretends to be. You don’t deserve to have your time wasted on someone who will not support your dreams and will be jealous over your successes. True friends and family will celebrate your wins with you.
Later on, it came to my attention that people bring up who you used to be in the past to take attention away from the successful person you have become. Some people can’t stand seeing someone else happy and want to see them miserable, so they proceed to knock others down. People bring up your past when they are intimidated by your present.
Toxic people will continue to bring you down from getting where you want to go. Not only will they hold you back, they’ll criticize you and make your self-worth diminish so they can feel superior to you. It’s sad to think that there are people out there who don’t have the same heart as you. Not everyone has the same spark and energy you do, so they make it a mission to dull your shine.
I have spent so many years in the wrong friendships and putting up with disrespectful family members. Enough was enough. If I wanted to continue to do what’s best for me, I had to let go of the people who were full of themselves and full of negativity. My life has been a revolving door of people who were directed by ulterior motives.
Spend your time with the people who will bring you up, not down. Invest your time with the people who are changing for the better and celebrate your successes. The people you associate yourself around is who you’ll generally become. Don’t waste your time tolerating someone who doesn’t have your best interest in mind.
There are people who better your life by staying in it, and there are people who better your life by staying out. Be brave enough to let go of the people who are weighing you down. You have to do what’s best for you. Ending the friendships I previously had left me more happy and less stressed. I have absolutely no regrets.
In an ideal world, everyone has the best intentions. But unfortunately, we are not living in that world. Recognizing peoples true intentions was definitely a lesson that I’ve learned the hard way.
Be extremely selective about the people you allow in your life. It’s never too late to make changes in your circle. Don’t feel bad for outgrowing people who had a chance to grow with you.